Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
