3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Two words: blizzard sex
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
