The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
