i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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