so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
