a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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