TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
