ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
