No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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