there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize