apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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