did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
