the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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