do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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