so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
