Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
