didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
