my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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