I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
