dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I want her autograph on my taint
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
