Whod you bang
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
