Sponge bath it is.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
