I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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