I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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