I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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