I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
