hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I will pee on everything he values.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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