Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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