I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
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