Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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