We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
