Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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