He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
