what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How naked do you want me to be?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
