He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
