it wasn't lemon gatorade
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
