The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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