Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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