he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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