arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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