If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
