some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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