i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
