I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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