my soul wont recognize me after tonight
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
