We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
