Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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