that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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