return my video game
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
