Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
