You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
