he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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