oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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