Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
