Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
