Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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