terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
