Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
