i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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