If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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