Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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