Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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