You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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