have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
