UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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