hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
