There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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